If Only
by Inces
Summary: Blue haired girl's laughter took his breath away for a moment. It wasn't that funny, though. If only Konan was a stranger, he would be dead in no time. Yahiko coughed, trying to hide the embarrassment. He could only blame his lack of alertness at that moment.


**WISHES**

"And that's it, kids" Jiraiya ended the story, smirking at small group sitting right before man's eyes. "What I want you to remember is you should never trust anyone you don't know personally. Never. No matter how many sweet words will he say. No matter how much he promises. Just stay away from the possible troublemakers, okay?"

If only the fly appeared in the cabin, they would be able to hear its buzzing. Jiraiya looked at the youngsters thoughtfully. He knew that they won't ask anything. They never - or for about a month, to be precise - did. 'Old man's talking is so boring, isn't it?' Jiraiya asked himself. He wasn't that _old_, not in the way his master was, but kids still could see him as elder. He wouldn't blame them, though. But still, the Sannin would have been grateful for anyone who raised a question. There was some time left before the sleep time that he would appreciate any help from them, since he wasn't in mood to tell about himself.

One of the children, a boy with ginger hair, raised his hand as if he wanted to ask about something, but quickly put the arm back down when blue-haired girl looked at him imploringly. After Yahiko had done this, Konan sighed in relief.

It wasn't that the orphans didn't want to listen to the wise man's speaking. In fact, they adored him for one specific reason: Jiraiya has agreed to teach them ninjutsu. With his help, they could change their lives - even if changing the past was beyond their reach, they had at least influence on future occurrences. What's more, the Sannin wanted nothing in return, just like the kids' smiles were everything he ever needed.

On the other hand, living with Jiraiya meant a lot of "bedtime stories", as the man called the stories about his life, which he was willingly telling the children in the evenings. It was no doubt that the Sannin had been enjoying his role as storyteller, especially when he was about to share his experience with women. Gods only know how many of them actually were discontented and manifested their displeasure of meeting the peeper, because Jiraiya had never spoken a word about such a situation.

Apparently, asking about anything was like starting an avalanche by screaming in the mountains - you couldn't stop Sannin's story right after speaking out loud the question. It was much better to ask him the next day in the morning than interrupting his daily monologue. It quickly became their code - if only they wanted not to be overwhelmed by the stories.

Yahiko knew it too well - he had learnt it the hard way many times - but, still, today's subject made him questioning not only particular situations. Trust meant too much to him to let the questions go. He looked at Konan again. The girl kept staring at him like she knew what he wanted to do, so he lowered his head in defeat.

'This time', he thought, 'this time I'll let you win.'

Yahiko was so much lost in his thoughts that he could not see Nagato, whose wide opened eyes were lurking from the darkest part of the cabin until now. A boy with red hair stood up and came a little closer, looking with curiosity at Jiraiya.

"What exactly does sensei mean by _personally_?" Nagato blurted out, completely forgetting about the code. After realising that he had broken the unwritten rule, he quickly covered his mouth with hands, but it was too late. Everybody was actually directed towards him. There was no going back, not now. He let his hands land freely on his lap. "I just..." He cleared his throat. "I mean that..." His face was becoming redder and redder. "I just wanted to say- say that, you know, Jiraiya-sama, you never know one personally. Depending on what you understand about this word, you just have..." Nagato bowed a head and looked at his intertwined fingers as if he found something interesting in them. Then he continued faintly: "There is always the difference in the meaning you believe is correct for some word and- and meaning that is accepted by someone else."

He felt like a failure. Just one day before while he was speaking freely with Jiraiya, the older man told that Nagato is really intelligent and he would be surprised if red haired boy didn't understand something. And now? What is he doing? He's actually admitting that he misunderstood or - even worse - didn't bother to listen to carefully his master's words, what makes him dumber than ever before.

"And?" Jiraiya asked softly, encouraging a boy to proceed.

"I think that- well, we should state what 'personally' stands for." Nagato whispered.

At first Jiraiya frowned a little in surprise, but then he smiled to Nagato.

"In this one sentence, the meaning is that you should trust nobody besides the ones who you know for some time" the Sannin pointed out. "That means you ought to promise me that you won't invite anybody to your home again, so he could teach you ninja stuffs" he winked at them. "Do not trust anyone so easily when I-" the white haired man paused, trying to find right words. After two seconds he added suspiciously cheerfully: "Anyway, it's high time we went sleep, isn't it?"

Jiraiya yawned loudly. It was obviously fake, but the orphans stood up and followed his suggestion.

While trying to fall asleep, Yahiko thought what would have happened if he had asked the question he was about to say. 'I will ask him tomorrow', he promised himself, but when he got up, he wasn't able to remind what it was.

* * *

The very next day anyone could tell that something was in the air. In fact, everything was wrong.

Firstly, no waking up at sunrise. They usually get up some time before Jiraiya's calling, so a man wouldn't be grumbling about waiting so long for them. But this time the orphans had been sitting at their futons way too long. When they finally got up to check if nobody had attacked them at night, they found the Sannin lying on the desk. He was holding a brush freely in his hand, as if the sleep caught him while he was working on his - not perverted one, of course, since it ought to be his first book - story. Secondly, right after waking up Jiraiya announced that this one special day would be free from any usual activities. Whatever he meant by these words, an information didn't arouse any enthusiasm.

"Not suspicious at all, huh?" Yahiko muttered, holding provisional fishing rod in his hand.

It certainly was one of the days that citizens of Amegakure might have described it as the most beautiful day. No rain was falling from heavy clouds and if you looked carefully, you could see the small light behind it. Sun seemed to get brighter and brighter behind the clouds with every minute, softly lighting up a dirty lake and its surroundings. Even mosquitoes didn't leave their usual whereabouts, what the orphans and Jiraiya found extremely generous.

Orange haired boy looked down at the water. The surface was smooth and showed only muddy depths. It ought to be obvious that beneath it you won't find much underwater creatures, but Yahiko didn't want to lose hope. Otherwise, they will have to eat some home-made bread. It was out of question that he had to catch a fish - one carp made a difference. And it happened that Konan liked carps almost as much as apples which they were stealing long time ago. Before meeting Jiraiya. Before starting to live in the cabin.

Rustle.

Yahiko squeezed the piece of wood that he had been holding in his hands since that morning. After calculating possibilities, he quickly moved a right hand towards the kunai, but before he could feel a cold metal, he found out that he had no vision. All he saw was the darkness.

"Too late!"

He heard Konan's voice, and then there was the light. Apparently, the girl covered his eyes with her hands when he was focused on his task. Yahiko turned around and was about to look at her, when she started to laugh at him. Blue haired girl's laughter took his breath away for a moment. It wasn't that funny, though. If only Konan was a stranger, he would be dead in no time.

Yahiko coughed, trying to hide the embarrassment. He could only blame his lack of alertness at that moment.

"I guess so" he admitted reluctantly after few seconds of awkward silence. "But still, you're way too loud with that paper of yours."

"Actually, it was you who weren't able to defend yourself" Konan pointed out and looked at her friend. When she noticed that a boy was staring at the ground as if he found something interesting in there, she added in the most cheerful way that she was able to: "Anyway, have you seen this? I can stay divided for longer than before! Now I know I can do it almost perfectly!"

"Yeah, everyone hears you and you die. So perfect, indeed." Yahiko murmured under his nose.

It had to be something more than just being nearly attacked. Konan started to stare at him, trying to found out what was it all about. When he didn't speak a word and there was no sign that he intended to do that, she sighed and asked:

"What's wrong?"

No response. He just turned around and sat on the ground, looking at the surface of water. Still nothing. It was like fishes wanted to make him question the whole world and purposefulness of living and surviving every single day, even if Jiraiya's present made everything much easier.

He heard few steps towards him and then felt Konan's arm right next to his.

"I'm asking, what's wrong?"

"Don't you feel something is wrong?" Yahiko answered by question, looking at her. "Don't you think _he_ hardly ever acts like that?"

"What I think is you are just overthinking now. What's going to be next, master Jiraiya will disappear and it would be as if we have never met him?" When he nodded quietly, she smiled widely. "Come on, Yahiko, don't be such a pessimist!"

"But one day-"

"One day everyone will choose their path and eventually leave everything behind. Isn't it like that?" Konan tilted her head and looked at the sky. "Look, I wish he isn't going to leave us, but he belongs to other village. One day he will have to come back, you know. But now" she looked again at her friend "we'd better catch this fish before it gets darker."

"Yeah."

They were sitting in complete silence. Surprisingly, it wasn't awkward or overwhelming in any moment; the two of them just agreed to stay there without speaking a word. They needed no sound to feel the presence of other person.

It was getting colder and colder, yet they hadn't caught any fish. As time was passing by, Konan put her head on Yahiko's arm. The boy cleared his throat and then said to blue haired girl:

"There is a story..." He broke the silence. "Or I'd rather say that's legend, which says that a person can have only one big wish at lifetime." Konan looked at him in surprise, so he continued. "You had said earlier that you wish Jiraiya won't leave us, hadn't you?" She nodded. "So, you can always keep it as the biggest wish of yours and then it'll eventually be granted. One way or the other."

"So what's yours?" she asked and shivered in the cold.

Yahiko closed his eyes, for a moment, trying to think about his wish. It wasn't easy, even if he was declaring that he would stop the war and Amegakure's tears, as he called the rain. But he _will_ be able to do that on his own, so what could he wish for?

"Now it's that you won't get a fever in next few days" Yahiko chuckled. "Yeah, it's definitely the perfect wish."

"You'd better waste your wish on fish that won't be with us today" Konan chuckled, pointing at fishing rod. There was no doubt that day they'll eat some bread. Again. "So, what's your_ true_ wish?"

"Wasn't it true enough?" he asked, sneaking a glance at her and looked at a lake, with his cheeks getting redder and redder. "Fine. I wish I could change the world."

"Liar!"

* * *

One week later, Jiraiya left them.

Ten years later, Yahiko died.

More than twenty years later, Nagato killed Jiraiya and sacrificed his life to revive all of Konoha's citizens. Konan died when she tried to protect her friends' dead bodies.

The wishes could never be granted.


End file.
